Invest Right for your DNA Type

Much like diet, your DNA has a huge impact on your investments, so which investments are right for your DNA type? Read more!

In lieu of new material, here is an amazing piece from the GFF vaults.

Ever since DNA was first detected by microscopes, it’s been used to make amazing new discoveries.

The stock market was invented around the same time and experts say that it’s more of a coincidence.

When it comes to solving crimes or who’s the daddy – DNA is the best. It even solved the puzzle that has bamboozled wise men since the beginning of time: why are identical twins identical? – it’s because they share the same DNA!

But What is DNA?

DNA or Double Nuclear Acid is the glue that keeps life together. Without it you would die, and you need it to live.

Everyone’s DNA is different, and that has to do with the code, made up of the letters C A T and G. Depending on your own mix, what’s best for you can vary – and it’s more important than any other so-called “financial advice” to pay attention right now to where you should invest your money.

Mostly Cs

If you are mostly Cs, stick to what you know and invest in safe things like Cash, Crypto, Commodities and Collectibles. You won’t go wrong.

Mostly As

You’ll be getting all As with this DNA. Investing in Assets is the one for you – stocks like Apple, Alphabet and Alibaba. With proven growth over time, you’ll reach financial freedom in no time!

Mostly Ts

Don’t end up a Turkey this Christmas and follow my advice. With a lot of T-, you are naturally conservative, and that’s great because rule number one is “don’t lose money”.

Put your money into safe T-bills and Tesla. With autopilot on, you’ll avoid all market crashes!

Mostly Gs

The best investment for you is a three way split between Gilts, Google and Gamestop. Gilts never lose money and with it being the 21st century, you want to invest in sexy stocks – these two will definitely hit your G-spot.

So there you have it. Sound advice for you to use. All you need is to have the results of the GFF DNA Financial Test™️.

Send me an email to with your name, address, bank details, mother’s maiden name, date of birth and dates/time when you’ll be away from home over Christmas and I’ll send you a home blood letting kit and ramekin for you to fill up and send back to me. All for just £999.99 (postage extra).

Thanks, GFF.

This financial advice is not to be taken as advice, it is for entertainment only. If you lose money and come after me, blaming me, I’ll disappear and that’ll be the end of the blog – so don’t ruin it on everyone else.



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