Vasectomy and Testicular Cancer

In a couple of days’ time I’ll be going into hospital for a both of an operation.

It’s a bit like university where there’s a split between the mandatory and optional courses. So, I’m going for the extra credit option and getting a vasectomy.

Much like a boat needing to be dry-docked and having the barnacles scraped off it, I too need a bit of routine maintenance. I’m told it’s quite common and nothing to be worried about. And I’m not.

The optional extra; for those of you who don’t know what a vasectomy is – it’s where giant lasers shoot out a big red beams at your scrotum while you are manacled onto the operating table for about an hour with a rag stuffed in your mouth to muffle the screams.

Still, it’s an improvement on how things were done a few years ago – where it was faster but did have its own risks.

No more kids

The upshoot of all this is that it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have kids again. I have two (the Master and Little Lady) and they are great. I’d like more but it’s not realistic and I wouldn’t want to burden of extra kids and everything that comes with them.

I’ve taken the decision to not create a back-up supply of GFF – cryogenically stored like winter onions. No, I’m all for insurance when insurance is right – but creating a milky reserve in case of my own kids not turning out well just encourages the idea that failure is an option in the back of your mind.

This blog is private and I’m not looking for any sympathy – although I do wish I could work out how to have a “buy me a dirty magazine” button for donations from you loyal readers! I’m not even evangelising about men’s health issues – there’s enough already.

But what I would say is that everything that I’m getting is being done on the NHS and for free and they’ve been very good so far in everything that it involves.

Remember that Ice Bucket Challenge?

What was that all about? I was told that it was for raising awareness about something – except nobody knew what it was to raise awareness for. Well, I’d argue that there’s not much point in raising awareness about anything if it doesn’t lead to action in some way or another.

And actions need to actually be actions and not just a sort of rain dance. Are mankind’s actions leading to climate change and putting human existence around a Salt Lake increasingly unsustainable? Well, why not try praying for a solution (as asked for by Utah’s governor).

So, I’m a pragmatist in these situations. Growing a moustache for Movember is a futile act which achieves little – although you could donate your razor savings to charity I guess. Going for a walk in a kilt is actually a bit of fun and has camaraderie, makes you feel like you are brave or humane or selfless or something – but don’t think that you are achieving anything other than patonthebackitude. There are things we should be aware of and things that we should do but you don’t need a fanfare to do the right thing.
There’s also the argument that we’d be better off doing something productive instead of some rain dance. Like instead of taking 2 weeks holiday as a friend in work did, to walk (some of) the Great wall of China – work those 2 weeks and donate your salary and save on the airfare, hotels and everything else.

But that’s just me – salty, cynical and unlikely to change how I think.

But who knows; as US President Ted Roosevelt said ” if you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow”.

Thanks, GFF


  1. Hi, three guys from my local pub have had TC over the last 20 years, it’s more common than people realise – and if you have to get C then this is the one to hope for (I was the third). It also helped me focus on FIRE (~2008) before I knew was fire was a thing.

    Good luck and happy to chat /email

    Liked by 1 person

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