Food Review: Gregg’s Vegan Sausage Roll

Today during my lunch break I went into a Gregg’s and tried one of their vegan sausage roll. It’s been on the news and in the press; so how was this meat-free pastry? In Gregg’s, I asked for a sausage roll and was informed that the “normal” sausage rolls were still cooking/baking” and I had to ask for it especially as thevegan one . The member of staff warned me that the vegan sausage roll was meat-free and speculated that Vegan was a mix of Venom and Gangrene and possibly Voodoo and didn’t have meat! A person ahead of me in the queue was offered the same option and chose to wait – vegan in these parts is unknown and not trusted.

So how was it?

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To be honest, when I ate it you would have trouble to tell that it didn’t have meat in it. To a non-Britianised palate you may have had trouble to tell that it was food – but overall, it passed as a sausage roll. It’s a pastry coated tube of meaty-type stuff and fitted into my mouth fairly easily. It’s a low bar.

I did end up feeling very thirsty later on – perhaps to compensate for the lack of meat they add in a lot of salt. Of course, it’s very hot in the office right now and it might just be that.

The fact that it is a Vegan Sausage roll doesn’t really bother me – I eat Vegan apples all the time and vegan porridge for breakfast and the best beer is Vegan too!

It does bother other people though – some people really don’t like the fact that Gregg’s would make a vegan product and they think that all things must have meat in them. These morons are all over the place (like these squirrel eating lame-os). There’s even an argument if sausage can be use to describe something without meat in it. It was not viewed by my server at Gregg’s as being something you could sell without a warning which tells you a lot I think.

As with all things, Brexit will sort it out

The fact that once the UK is free from the shackles of food standards directives dictated by pâté plying Belgians, saucisson slicing Frenchies and Currywurst chomping Krauts; we will be free to reduce the meat content of all sausage rolls from 42% to no more than 20% and broaden the definition of “meat” to encompass not only muscle tissue but the whole aural, cerebral, digestive and reproductive systems of mammal and mammal-like animals.

Forget chlorinated chicken – this is the future. But, hey if it keeps the cost of your sausage roll down so that you can feed Jaxon and Tyler, kids love sausage rolls – who cares what’s in your roll? Just so long as it’s not Vegan (Jaxon’s alergic to vegetables donchaknow)!

Maybe I’m being unfair to Gregg’s after all their success and longevity is testament to how good they are at what they do.

The History of (Papa) Gregg’s

Gregg’s may have been established Pope Gregory I in 594. Papa Greggs (as he was known) attempted to civilise the barabarian Brits who had booted the Romans out in 410. Unwilling to invade Britain, he sought to convert them to Christianity not by force but by turning their minds and stomachs. Christianity was a hard sell as the message of bread and wine was a bit European sounding (and still is). – But the Rolly Truth was spread by a clandestine group of Knights called the Order of the Golden Roll and the Rolly Truth may be that Jesus himself said at the last supper “this is my body & skin, a meat paste tube surrounded by pastry, which I have given up for you”. The OGR had a simple message – convert to Christianity or become meat paste yourself. It was an easy sell and soon everyone was Christian and they all loved sausage rolls and still do to this day. Thanks Papa Greggs!

So is GFF a Vegan?

Ireland, Sheep, Lambs, Livestock, Animals, Closeup

Years ago I was a vegetarian for ecological / environmental reasons but I gave it up after a year or so for gastronomic reasons. Maybe I am addicted to meat (lamb in particular) and I do eat a lot of it. I do however try not to eat bad quality meat and I love going to farmers’ markets to buy good food from local sources.

It’s also cheaper to be a vegetarian and I was able to save money when I needed it most. It’s no surprise that meat consumption is higher in richer countries and that when countries get richer they eat more meat.

What’s good for the goose is good for the greenhouse effect?

What is clear is that our food systems whereby rainforest is cut down to grow soya beans to feed to cows for us to eat them is a deep shame and sin on mankind. Meat consumption and its growth is leading to more and more environmental damage. Some people think that just by cutting your meat consumption you’ll be doing a fair bit to help the planet. And meat’s also bad for our health.

The demand for meat needs to be met by supply and where supply falls short, the food scientist step in – they can create a yummy meat style product – despite it containing all sorts of odds and ends and undergoes a Frankensteinly scary amount of processing to get it into shape. If marketed correctly, you will be craving for it! Like turkey twizlers and trotter totters! Whatever it is, they’ll market it and you’ll be eating it before you know it.

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42% of your Trotter Totter

And the question of – would I eat another one? Yes, but when I’ll be in Gregg’s next is anyone’s guess.

So, maybe this Vegan Sausage roll is the future. But it is still viewed with suspicion in some parts – maybe in hipster London the Vegan Sausage Roll has a place – maybe we’ll all be eating alternatively produced Vegan meat products in the future, who knows.

Thanks, GFF

11 comments

  1. I’ve yet to try the vegan sausage roll – keep forgetting to order one, as I don’t go in very often and when I do, I tend to go for a steak bake!

    I have tried the Beyond Meat burger – let’s just say that in order to try to wipe my memory/taste of it, the following day, I nipped into M&S to buy some real burgers – no comparison!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember a delicacy called the Forfar Bridie. Do Greggs offer that?

    Mind you, it’s hard to beat a good Scotch pie.

    Except at breakfast when I’d rather have an Aberdeen Buttery. Do they still exist? The best were better than any croissant I’ve ever had.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice to read a balanced review! I like them (agree though, salty, not just the weather), though the frugality in me favours the less ethical veggie ones at Pound Bakery! 2 for a pound. Maybe for a future review? 🙂

    Like

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